Why values in a family are so important
My heart is heavy right now.
News from the turbulent situation in Bolivia – and South America in general invade my social media and inbox.
I am looking at videos that let me have a glimpse into what is happening in the “heart of South America” – videos, which explain what is the reason behind the crisis.
Reasons are different, but in the end, there is one common denominator I discover by digging into the different situations countries go through: Ideologies.
What is an Ideology?
“Its most common use in every-day language is to describe a broad, cohesive set of political, economic or social ideas and beliefs“
Ideologies come in 3 different forms:
- Political ideologies ( communism, socialism, fascism etc.)
- Economic ideologies ( globalism, capitalism, monetarism, etc.)
- Social ideologies ( feminism, gender, nationalism etc.)
In Bolivia, the self-proclaimed president Evo Morales and his party are trying to implement socialism unto the people. Right now, there are massive manifestations taking place, the people are standing up, peacefully and united, but firm, with the slogan:
“Morir antes esclavos vivir!”
(We’d rather die before living as slaves)
Another ideology spreading throughout the continent including Bolivia, influencing families, churches and people with integrity and firm values is the gender ideology.
As you most probably know, not only South America is confronted with this ideology – most continents are invaded by this “cohesive set of economic, social and political ideas and beliefs”.
It makes me think of the time during the World War II where many atrocities were made by ordinary people… simply because they felt like they were doing the right thing by following the propaganda of that time.
Today’s world is filled with propaganda too.
Behind every movement, whether it’s feminism, communism, gender, liberalism, there are sets of ideas indoctrinated by every possible means: TV, advertisement, newspapers, social media, infiltration of schools, streets, work, politics and homes. Attempting to change the way we think and feel about their specific philosophy.
When I was an adolescent, I refused to take what my parents told me to be “the truth” as a truth. About 24 years ago, I wrote in my journal:
“I don’t know what the truth is. But I know what I don’t believe to be the truth, and I am going to find out the “real truth”.
More than two decades later, I am still growing in that task of life.
But one thing I know: life could have been less turbulent if I had been able to learn from my family how to live a successful life.
I would have omitted many painful experiences if my parents had known to teach me through their lives who this God truly is.
Who I truly am.
The truth about my value, identity and worth.
And you see, because I know the cost of not knowing all of that, I want to implement this basic foundation into the lives of my children.
Benny and I are well aware of the fact that
- Family in its original design is not only a godly institution, it is as well a basic cell, a defender of cultural tradition.
- Family is the foundation of a healthy, thriving society.
- Family should be the place where children learn about their value, identity and worth.
- Family should be a place where children are satisfied in their need not only for clothing and food but warmth, attachment, identity, worth, direction, guidance.
- A place of transmission of affective, psychological and cultural values.
We want to raise children who know their worth, with a firm established identity and a solid foundation of everything they need to stand in life .
Children that don’t need to follow any philosophies and trends but who are capable to stand with integrity and courage in what they know deep in their hearts to be the truth, no matter what challenges will come their way and what philosophies will wreak havoc through their times.
Children who know God – and who know the only way to God is Jesus Christ.
There are several ways we are doing that, here are just few of them:
- we are well aware that our parenting is much more dependent on whom we are than on what we do. We reflect our parenting a lot, we are eager to learn and grow in our capacity as human beings, parents as well as spouses.
- We choose which trend we want to follow.
Our kids love “Lightning McQueen and Mater” from the famous movie “Cars”. They have almost everything, from socks, underwear to caps. Currently, they think Paw Patrol is awesome, and we have several things from this movie as well.
However, we are not friends of Spiderman or Batman. Why should we? It’s not necessary to love something simply because everyone else loves it and because many children clothes have imprints on them. In my opinion, these are not really “child-adapted” creatures and movies and therefore, we omit to have them at our home.
- We don’t have a TV. First, we don’t have time to sit in front of a TV-screen. Second, through TV, there is a big influence of what children (and parents) are exposed to.
Let alone the advertisements and daily news are full of images we don’t want to expose our children to.
- Another example is Halloween. Why should we “do Halloween?” Because everyone does it? Knowing the background of Halloween, there is nothing in me that wishes to celebrate this day!
I don’t care how much the culture I live in takes it as an opportunity to party and to let their children have a fun time. We don’t make fun with ghosts, witches or monsters, and we don’t celebrate death nor fear. This goes against everything we want to implement into our family!
- We take every opportunity to choose whom we allow to influence our children. Sometimes, due to life situation there is not much choice. But for us, our personal convenience comes second. When we don’t have a baby sitter whom we know and trust and is available, we stay at home. When we have the possibility to send our children to a private school nearby we know to be an excellent school we do that – even if we could save a lot of money by sending them to public school….
- We refuse to let media, newspapers and social media dictate what norms and values we hold on to. What we hear most of the time is not always truth. It’s not always necessary to follow a “current trend”.
- Our ultimate authority is the Bible – and this not in a religious, rigid way.
Benny and I discover always more that we have a great responsibility over what we adhere to and the choices we make, be it in the business world for Benny, with our children and personal life, in our marriage.
In every area we go for the gold.
We want to implement the wisdom of God, His truth, His grace, His peace, His truthfulness, faithfulness and identity into every aspect of our personal life, into our way to raise children and how we live our marriage and friendship with other people.