Family life
Family life
Family life will have a huge impact in children’s lives, and on the overall feeling as a family.
In this section you will find out what helped us to:
a. Know what we want to see in our family
b. Ways to get to it.
Like a pilot with a destination in mind when he flies his plane, we as a family know the destination we want to go. Sometimes there are “turbulences”, (overloaded time schedules, challenging moments…) deviations happen. But we know where we are heading and therefore, we can always get back on track.
Here we are sharing our journey and the things we are learning.
“Creating a warm, caring, supportive, encouraging environment is probably the most important thing you can do for your family.”
Stephen.R..Covey
Articles on “family life”
Articles on “family life”
The rod of discipline found in the new Testament
I have discovered a passage in the New Testament in which the term "rod" also appears. It is in 1. Corinthians 4:21, where it says: "Which do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a rod [of discipline and correction], or with love and a gentle spirit?" Paul writes at...
Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid
Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. John 14.1/27 We live in a time where it is of such importance to decide what we allow our heart to meditate on, to believe in, and to react upon. Every day, we can choose to meditate on what the media presents...
The effect of multitasking on our family – and why it should be avoided
In only a few days our family is going to take an 8-hour drive to spend some family vacations in the south of France. As our planned vacation in spring were canceled due to the closed frontiers, we were unsure if and when we would be able to go for a family...
How to recognize shame in your life and family and to grow out of it Part 2 -with Video –
Last week we dug into the subject of shame. I shared (here) five common patterns for people and families who live life through the lenses of shame. Today we will see the 10 other points. Let’s dive into it right away: YOU ACT LIKE A VICTIM “People with a history of...
How to recognize shame in your life and family and to grow out of it Part 1 -with Video –
Last week I posted a video week on my other website freedomthatmatters.com. The topic was about shame and how I learned to not let shame rule my life. I got several feedbacks from people sharing their struggle with shame. Last week I posted a video week on my other...
Family life during the time of Covid-19
Here I am, back after several weeks in which I have not uploaded an article to this website.Since the beginning of this pandemic, I have realized how rich and diverse the whole subject of child education and family life has been covered. Wherever one looked, inputs,...
How to stay calm in testing times
Last week I received a voicemail from a friend in Seattle – we live 5000 miles apart, with a time difference of 8 hours. I was amazed however, how our lives look very similar right now. Both of us entered into the realm of home schooling our kids, our daily life is...
Let’s talk about Counterwill – and how it not only applies to Children
A few weeks ago, we were riding in the car as a family - I was driving. It was a sunny day and I forgot to turn on the lights. On the way to my destination, just before a roundabout, the car in front of me suddenly stopped. The driver (an elderly man) got out of the...
Family – ways of transformation part 2
In the last article we looked at a grid that shows different family dynamics. This grid was developed by the authors of the book "Facing Shame - families in Recovery " to help families to enter the process of change The authors are therapists who work a lot with...
Family – ways of transformation
A few weeks ago, when I wrote an article on the subject of "Perfect families? Healthy and well-functioning families" , I set out the five freedoms that I believe are the basis for a healthy family. Then we looked at the dynamics of a family based on shame and its...
Characteristics of a shame based family and how change can happen part 2
In the last article I described a family based on shame. I described what one can imagine by the word shame and how this shame can shape the dynamics of a family. A freely invented story should illustrate this dynamic:Once upon a time there was a traditional American...
Characteristics of a shame based family and how change can happen
Description of the term "family based on shame". A few weeks ago I wrote a paper on family for my 3-year counseling school. It was to be an essay about my personal path, and about what I had learned from the various readings. In the following articles, I will reflect...
Perfect families? Healthy and well functioning families!
Have you ever seen families that looked perfect from the outside? Families that radiate a pleasant atmosphere and a feeling of love, acceptance, respect and relaxation even when you get to know them better?We all know that there are no "perfect" families. And yet I...
Reflecting the online webinar “making sense of troubled kids”
The other day, Benny told me: "Jeanne, I'm going to have some work to do for business tonight. This whole month will be very intense as we will be moving the business until the end of the year." I told him this was all right and I took care of the kids.hen Benny asked...
How we can create an environment in which our child can perceive its feelings
As mentioned in the last two articles (here and here) , I participated in a webinar - an online seminar - presented live from Canada. The speaker was Gordon Neufeld and the title was "Making Sense of Troubled Kids". Many insights, revelations and important information...
The influence of attachment on family values
When our girl was about three years old, she was of a very independent spirit. She was a happy little girl; however, she didn’t need us, as it seemed.When we went for a walk, she walked in front or behind us. She never came for a cuddle and showed herself pretty...
Why values in a family are so important part 2
In the last article I wrote on how we as a family implement principles and values into our children. How we don’t simply “go with the flow” but deliberately choose what we want to accept into our family. We don’t let just anything our society presents to us enter our...
Why values in a family are so important
My heart is heavy right now. News from the turbulent situation in Bolivia – and South America in general invade my social media and inbox. I am looking at videos that let me have a glimpse into what is happening in the “heart of South America” - videos, which explain...
Why the image we have of authority is so important
Last week I received a link from a lecture by Haim Omer, a teacher and author from Israel, who gave a presentation on "The New Authority, Part 1". (lecture hold in german.) I found the topic very exciting and diligently took notes.This article is now based on these...
Why children need to experience real life with us, their parents
The beautiful thing about being a parent, is that we teach our children real life. There is a big difference between children that grew up in a family and children that, most of the time, were put in a day care. As Jesper Juul explains in his book ”No! The art of...
How last week I had to force my kids into their happiness
I know how to make my children happy. Chocolate for our girl, permission to play "Rollercoaster Tycoon" on the computer for our oldest, a trip to the Dinosaur Museum for our third one... I could include a whole list of my children's wishes here. And frankly, I love...
What our youngest had in common with a little Chihuahua
A few weeks ago I had a talk with Heinz Etter. I love to hear his insights about challenges we face in raising our children – he has this special capacity to not only grasp the situation I see but to point out things I don't see. This happened again on that talk.I...
How a reader’s family applied the idea of talking about sexuality with their children
A few weeks ago, when I wrote a multi-part article on "Sexuality - should we talk about it with our children", I was well aware that this was a challenging topic for many families.Despite the media surge of explicit material, many of us find it difficult to deal with...
A bad day – and two insights coming out of it
Did you ever have one of those days, when you worked hard all day while having a hard time to focus and not really accomplishing that much? Well I had one of those days this week. It was one of the first really hot days of summer. I did have some trouble concentrating...
What a mischief of our child can tell us about ourselves
This Wednesday, my sister-in-law and myself went to visit a dear friend in the French part of Switzerland.We were able to leave our kids at home; I only took my sweet three-year old with me. While we were sitting in the garden having a delicious meal, enjoying each...
My experiences concerning abuse and what I learned from them
In the past three articles (see here, here and here) I wrote about the somewhat heavy subject of sexual abuse on our children.I found it a difficult task to resume the book I was working with; even though it was a quick read – it was packed with important, relevant...
How to be prepared to detect sexual abuse of our children
In the last article we saw how difficult it is for most of us to talk about sex, especially with a child. That for adults, sexuality seems trivialized, but as soon as it concerns children, we don't know how to do it." This is one of the reasons why a situation of...
Sexuality – should we talk about it with our children?
As part of my counseling school, which I just started at the beginning of April, we have to read a few books. Here I am in our holidays at the campsite in the south of France with my children and I take the opportunity to read the first book of the compulsory reading:...
Children and Technology – should we even try to stop it? Part 3
As we have seen in the last two articles, the topic "media and children" is about more than competence. It's about maturity. In the first article, we took a closer look at what the word " literacy" really means. The second article showed how we can support our...
Children and Technology – should we even try to stop it? 2.Part
Today's generation of parents (especially those who already have older children and teenagers) still had a childhood with cassettes, walkmans, televisions with only three channels and telephone booths. The first computers of that time cannot be compared with what we...
The Hardships and the Fruits of investing in your Kids
As you've probably read in this post, we have a family bed – well it has grown beyond one bed as our family has grown, but we do sleep in one room. There was a time the oldest two were sleeping in their own room and they did very well. However, after a while they...
How active appreciation can shape a family culture
In the last Article I've shared with you how active appreciation has changed my life. How Benny brought this into our marriage, and how it transformed me over the years. Today, it is not only our marriage that is bathed in active appreciation, but it has turned into a...
Choosing a Mindset of Gratitude: How counting your Blessings will change your Life
As you've probably read in the last article, we had some rain during our time in France. In fact, after I had written the last article, it rained continuously for the whole remaining 10 days we were there – and after the one storm alert, level "orange", a second one...
How to turn Problems and Challenges into Adventures
Today, at our holiday place, we've moved from our tent into a bungalow... as we are in the middle of a weather alert level „orange“ - which means heavy winds and rain for the next 24 hours. I would say, this is an adventure. However, one could say: „An...
How a culture of honor in a family can bring forth beautiful results part 2
As we saw in the last Article, a culture of Honor empowers. Honor sets you free – free to change, free to grow, to flourish and to give your best. The same goes for our children – any children under our authority. We saw how there is another way than to define our...
How a culture of honor in a family can bring forth beautiful results part 1
Honoring – can this be a way to raise children? Last week I told you in this Article how Honor is something that keeps our marriage strong. However, Honor is not only something that keeps our marriage strong; it’s also something that shapes our family, the way we...
Why we have a family bed and how it works for us part 2
Like I said in part one of this article, my mission is not to convert you into a “Family- bed-lover”. I am not in search of arguments, in order to persuade my readers of doing it the same way we do. Last week I explained to you why we do that way, and how it worked...
Why we have a family bed and how it works for us
This Article is not at all an attempt to convert you into a “Family bed -lover”. I have many friends who know about our way of doing that, telling me “for such or such reason, I would never be able to do it like you do!” And you know what? This is totally fine. What...
Chaotic, goal-oriented and structured — camping from the perspective of a friend
For my upcoming round birthday I got a very special present: A friend of mine wrote an article in which she describes the holidays we spent with our children at a campsite in the south of France this spring. Her description touched me deeply, made me smile and gave me...
Family Vacation – a good Time to review Family Vision and Values
We spent the last three weeks as a family in the south of France. These yearly vacations are of high value for us, as these are a couple of unique days to spend lots of time together, to experience many adventures as a family, to spend hours around the dinner table –...
How we rise our children bilingual without us being bilingual parents
I love languages. Today, I speak fluently German, French, English and Spanish. I’m also learning Portuguese and Swedish on a daily basis. This is not something that was predestined from my upbringing. Even though I have French and Scandinavian roots, I wasn’t raised...
Functional Families vs dysfunctional Families – an Overview
When I get asked about my childhood, I mostly reply: « Well, my family was pretty dysfunctional». Some well-meaning people might say: Well you know, no family is perfect!Of course.However, there are ways to determine whether a family is healthy (functional) – or...
Vacations are priceless – and this for life, not just for a moment.
As I am writing this article, I'm sitting outside our tent, listening to the birds up in the tree, to the children playing on the playground nearby and to the people splashing in the the pool only a few meters away from our camping place.... Yes, I am still on...
Labels and diagnosis we give our children – and how they affect them
During my years in South America I often observed how children were called by adjectives instead of their names. They were called names like “El gordito”(fat), “flaquito” (slim), “gringo”(western, white skin) , “negro”(black – having a dark skin) etc. In the...
Are we acting as manager or as buffers for our children?
Being a family implies that we live in a certain society, a culture, that has its values, norms and demands. As parents we often are influenced by that pressure to fit in, to have children, who are adapted, quick and clever enough. Many times, the temptation for us...
The secret of celebrating a loved one
I’ve never been much of a birthday- person. Of course, I appreciated the gifts I received. But if someone forgot about my birthday, I didn’t really care that much. The same came true for the birthday of others. I never was good at remembering birthdays. Concerning my...
Sunny day or foggy Landscape? – Embracing the seasons of your life
Where we live, wintertime is the time of the year when outside it is cold and dark. It is the time of the year when we are supposed to get lot of snow here in Switzerland. But the reality is, that in the plain where we live, we seldom have the privilege to have...
How we de-stressed this Christmas season for our family
Christmas season. I love it. I love the lights, the smells the music, the decorations. Today, on Thursday the 21st of December, as I write this Article, we have our first Christmas celebration. In the next six days, we have five more. The whole month of December has...
A worthless activity that absorbed my day-turned around in a precious teaching for my kids.
Those who regularly read my articles know that it is really important for me to invest my heart and life into my children and my husband. I want to be close to them and share my life and heart with them. However, I keep reminding myself that this is a daily decision....
Three important things to consider before bringing your kids to a nursery
In our western world a nursery (in GB the word “crèche” is used) has become indispensable. They allow parents to combine work and family. In some families it is unavoidable in their life situations, for others it’s a cultural norm, for some a standard of living....
“I am so stupid!” – The way we talk to ourselves
This morning I was eating breakfast together with my children, drinking my coffee. With a sudden movement to help one of the children with his cereals, I spoiled my whole coffee over the table, chair and floor. My first, spontaneous reaction was “oh no!”… But then, I...
Halloween is my favorite holiday – Really?
No it is not. But this is a sentence I have read from several friends over social media. In Switzerland it is not that big a deal as it is in other countries. In our little town only a few kids are disguised, coming for a trick and treat. There are some public events...
A vacation on a campground and how realities can be completely different
The past two weeks I have been on a campground with my children. We were in a tent, enjoying the warmth of a beautiful autumn. Since the campground was one of only a few which were open during this fall season, my sister was there with her family during almost the...
How we teach our children to be friends with their siblings.
There is a popular belief (at least in the German-speaking world) that it's normal that siblings quarrel. That siblings have rivalries. And even that siblings can be mean to each other. Well, in my family of origin this was certainly true. We not only quarreled,...
Why my girls challenge became my concern and how I helped her in it.
These days I found myself in a situation with a child that reminded me of the article I wrote last week. I have a very social little girl. She loves to play with others. She’s a very happy and excited girl when there are group activities in school. After the summer...
A trip to the Swiss mountains and more examples concerning shapes
Last Tuesday I was watching the weather forecast: I could see, that Wednesday would be the last summer day in the mountains of Switzerland, probably for the whole year! I love the mountains. We have beautiful mountains and alps in Switzerland. They are amazing during...
Why I am a mother hen and why this is not as bad as you may believe
Today’s topic is pretty close to my heart. This subject got me into trouble a few times now since I am a mom. People have been telling me, that I should let my children be more independent, teach them not to cling as much to us as they do, and take time out to be as a...
My perfect plans for the future and God’s heart for a toddler
Recently my husband and I decided, to enroll in a Bible school for the next three years. My mother in law and my sister agreed to look after the four kids in the evenings and sometimes during days when we would be away. It felt right, and it was the perfect...
Rules of Families that Nurture vs. Rules that Shame
Family is a beautiful design. All it takes is getting pregnant and putting babies into this world. Or is it? Wherever you read this blog from, you have your unique story about your family of origin. You have your unique background, unique experiences. They may be...
The importance of studying my child or why I can hurt my child without doing any thing wrong
There was a Situation with one of my boys I felt so overwhelmed by his sweetness and heart. I realized that I can hurt my child, without doing anything “wrong”. During the rest of my day I was reflecting in the fact that raising kids is much more than just following...
Teaching my children some self-control when emotions want to take over.
Our three year-old sweet boy can experience a lot of emotions, do a whole lot of crying, just because he can’t have something the way he wants it. He then sits just around and cries his eyes out. Today, while eating breakfast on a relaxing Easter Monday, I poured some...
Five powerful steps to let your kids feel „at home“ in your family.
It is possible for a child to not feel really “at home” in its own family. To miss this sense of really being known, loved, belong and be a vital part of the family. Here are five powerful steps to help you evaluate your own family, and the basics to take your own...