The probably most important step in personal growth is the understanding of its purpose.
Because it’s not something that is easy and comfortable.
Most of the time it’s challenging, hard, sometimes painful.
Personally, I knew that I can’t give what I didn’t receive and that I wanted more in life – I wanted to be able to truly love and to accept being loved.
So my journey of personal growth is ongoing… but I surely can say that I’m on a very different spot, then I was 20 or even 10 years ago. My life has been turned around.
Here I will share what truth, principles, revelation brought me where I am today and all the continuous growth I am in still today!
When we deny our story, it defines us.
When we own the story we can write an brand new ending.
Did you ever have one of those days, when you worked hard all day while having a hard time to focus and not really accomplishing that much? Well I had one of those days this week. It was one of the first really hot days of summer. I did have some trouble concentrating...read more
This Wednesday, my sister-in-law and myself went to visit a dear friend in the French part of Switzerland.We were able to leave our kids at home; I only took my sweet three-year old with me. While we were sitting in the garden having a delicious meal, enjoying each...read more
These were the words of a professional, who is without a secretary at the moment. I love what this person does. That's why I told him I would love to help out but didn't think I was the right person for this job.That’s when he told me: “I wouldn’t want you to be my...read more
About a year ago I wrote an article called “How individuality in marriage scared me – and how I learned to enjoy it“ There, you could read a conversation we had a few years into our marriage, where I told Benny: “Darling, we have a problem!“ He looked at me puzzled,...read more
In the past three articles (see here, here and here) I wrote about the somewhat heavy subject of sexual abuse on our children.I found it a difficult task to resume the book I was working with; even though it was a quick read – it was packed with important, relevant...read more
Hit with a discovery of sexual abuse on your child? Here you’ll find some help on how to manage such a situation.
In this article, you found ways on how to establish a dialogue with children to keep them from being abused. The second article discussed how adults should act to remove doubt and identify possible abuse of the child. In the unfortunate case where abuse has indeed...read more
In the last article we saw how difficult it is for most of us to talk about sex, especially with a child. That for adults, sexuality seems trivialized, but as soon as it concerns children, we don't know how to do it." This is one of the reasons why a situation of...read more
As part of my counseling school, which I just started at the beginning of April, we have to read a few books. Here I am in our holidays at the campsite in the south of France with my children and I take the opportunity to read the first book of the compulsory reading:...read more
In today’s article we will explore some more the subject of poisonous pedagogy. Then I will share with you how today I am able to recognize the pattern of poisonous pedagogy and how I am able to choose new ways and apply a new mindset for how I view God, how I see my...read more
Regardless of the season of my life, I have always had one final goal in mind: I wanted to be able to start a family. Not just any family. I longed for a healthy family. I knew, even in the years of "rebellion", while I was questioning all the values and things taught...read more
Since I opened this website two years ago, many things have happened in my life. It has been a journey into something I am very passionate about: Writing around the subject of family. A platform to share my insights, thoughts, experiences and my personal learning...read more
While I was still writing my last article (Saying goodbye to prince charming – to live a real fairytale), I was aware that there are people who are in a really difficult situation in their marriage. I was aware that my challenges with Benny were only everyday issues...read more
Have you ever looked at other couples, feeling that they, contrary to your marriage, have it all together? That they are both fulfilled and happy, living a fairy tale marriage? I have met couples who have looked perfect. I’ve looked up to them, they seemed to have it...read more
As you've probably read in this post, we have a family bed – well it has grown beyond one bed as our family has grown, but we do sleep in one room. There was a time the oldest two were sleeping in their own room and they did very well. However, after a while they...read more
Mindset of the wealthy Like I tried to make sure in the two past articles, I will not talk about money here. This article will not treat the subject of how to become rich and live a life of luxury. You could rather compare this article to the one called...read more
Mindset of middle class In the last article we saw that our worldview is greatly influenced by our upbringing, the world we live in, be it poverty, middle class or wealth. We saw that wealth is not equal to riches or possession but rather a...read more
From Identity to destiny – this is our slogan from familythatmatters. This is our vision statement. A vision statement is a way to explain in one sentence who we are, why we exist, what is distinctive about us and what we do want to accomplish. All the...read more
While this post may sound somewhat unusual to some people – especially men or easy going people in general, the principles described have helped countless people who were dealing with any kind of shame in their lives. It’s the end of one year, 2018 and the beginning...read more
My house is decorated with lights Christmas decoration and candles. Presents are ready, cookies are made, Christmas-dinner planned, family celebrations are all organized … and our home is filled with expectation and our children are full of this tingling sensation for...read more
It has been amazing to watch the change that occurred in the life of our boy since that moment we had our first counseling session concerning our 5-year old a month ago. He has made a huge amount of progress in his whole being. He didn’t “change”. He still loves to...read more
In the last Article I've shared with you how active appreciation has changed my life. How Benny brought this into our marriage, and how it transformed me over the years. Today, it is not only our marriage that is bathed in active appreciation, but it has turned into a...read more
There is little I cherish more in our marriage than active appreciation. Active appreciation is something Benny brought into my life.His way of how he actively appreciates who I am and what I do has changed my life over the years. Today, our whole family is constantly...read more
Nobody is perfect We all agree with that. Wall tattoos, posters and cards confirm that we all know this to be true. However…. How about our own life? How do we deal with our own shortcomings, failures and wrongdoings?Most people I know, after facing their imperfection...read more
Personal thoughts and application on an attended lecture on education, given by Heinz Etter Part 3When I look at my own life, I remember what it felt like to be punished, blamed and shamed for my “wrongdoings”. Irrespective of whether those things were done “by...read more
The liberated conscience …. Thoughts on an attended lecture on education, given by Heinz Etter Part 2
In the last article I shared with you my résumé of what I got out of the lecture about education with the title “The liberated conscience”, held by Heinz Etter. As promised, I will share more about the final thoughts of that lecture: this article will help us to...read more
I love to attend lectures on education. Even more if it’s held by Heinz Etter. His way of understanding children, his wisdom to help families, his capacity to suggest a solution that transforms a family are all unique to him. Remember Maria? She felt pretty hopeless...read more
As you've probably read in the last article, we had some rain during our time in France. In fact, after I had written the last article, it rained continuously for the whole remaining 10 days we were there – and after the one storm alert, level "orange", a second one...read more
Once again, I'm sitting in front of our tent in the south of France writing this article.We enjoy these vacations a lot. These are always precious times as a family. This time, a befriended family joined us, and our children love to play together as much as we adults...read more
After I wrote the last Article about„why I don’t want to be a good girl anymore", I got some feedback from people telling me that they were relieved to read the end. Simply, because the opposite of a “good girl” – is usually a “bad girl”. In our use of language, a...read more
There was a time in my life when I was (or tried to be) a “nice girl”. I used to be that the kind of girl who tried to be a good citizen by being polite, quiet, obedient, serving, endearing, sweet, gentle – and nice. In my understanding, being a nice girl was...read more
This week I turned 40 – and I was thinking about sharing something meaningful with you about my own life.This is a beautiful season of life for me. Not because I have it all together, nor because I understand it all. I haven’t figured out how to be perfect or how to...read more
Have you ever had to face a reality that was not what you wanted it to be? A life that didn't turn out the way you imagined? The reality of failure or meaningful mistakes, a painful loss or situations that turned out differently than planned? I did. And actually, I've...read more
Over the ages, many a parent must have pondered about how they can prevent their kids from becoming crybabies and instead become strong, stable and tough persons. While this may apply to boys in particular, I am sure parents want brave daughters as well. Daughters who...read more
As I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, we started to talk about our parents. We talked about the challenge of facing our reality. This desire to have a good, loving relationship with our parents. And how, in some situations, this is nearly impossible. How...read more
As a mother, I want my children to be confident in who they are. I see part of successful parenting in having children that have identity, that they are solidly rooted in life, with confidence and security. However, I don’t want children with inflated egos. I don’t...read more
I have a friend from childhood, who today is married and a mother of 3 children. She is a very devoted mother who loves her children above all else and wants the best for them. Nevertheless, one often hears her yelling at her children, for completely irrelevant...read more
As we’ve seen in the last article, it is the accepting and supporting of the uniqueness and individuality of each family member which creates a healthy, functional family that lives together in unity. Today I want to share what I’ve learned in this area within our...read more
Being people with that gift of having two eyes to see, this may seem like a funny title. "Of course I see my loved ones! I certainly see (some of us need glasses to do so clearly) my children and my spouse!" But just ask yourself, did you always feel seen by the...read more
Have you ever asked yourself how to not bend under the pressure of parenting? Every parent I’ve ever met has this ardent desire to be a successful parent. However, the definition of “successful” parenting can vary tremendously. Many parents are under great pressure...read more
Remember my friend Maria? She amazes me daily with her heart to be a wonderful mom for her daughter, overcoming their difficult past with her teachable, soft spirit. Today I will introduce to you another friend of mine. Let’s call her Alexis. Alexis is married and a...read more
Has it ever happened to you that your child behaved in such an annoying way that it was difficult for you to treat him or her with a loving attitude? Have you ever been so displeased with your spouse that it was difficult for you to say the words "I love you" to him...read more
After talking with moms from different backgrounds, cultures and levels of society I realized we all have things in common. An important one of them is the heart of a mother that longs to be a perfect mom for her children. Often, mothers don’t tell it like this. More...read more
When you are reading this article, I am already in the south of France, on a campground with my kids. Spring here is somewhat warmer and sunnier than in Switzerland and while Benny stayed behind for his job, our four kids and I enjoy our tent holidays near the...read more
As I mentioned in the last article I had some labels to strip off, in order to become who I am today. Therefore I am well aware of the power of such labels.I know the cost of breaking out of the narrowness, into the freedom of the true riches of identity and with it...read more
I haven’t been writing much, concerning this section of marriage … simply because I feel like Benny is the one making our marriage as easy and beautiful as it is. He’s a man of quality, and everything he does; he does with excellence – including being a husband....read more
When I started with that website exactly one year ago, I had mainly one thing in mind: To write down all these “articles” I had been formulating in my head for years, to write down all my revelations and understandings I had been telling people about, to write down...read more
In last week’s article we’ve been looking at the six stages of attachment. We we’ve seen how there is a maturing process going on with the purpose to create solid attachment. This attachment creates a solid bond between the child and the parent, making our task as...read more
In last week's article I have been digging quite a bit into the whole subject of abuse — once again. The first time I was confronted to that subject was during my time in a Christian counseling home about 15 years ago. It was during that time I met Téo....read more
I still remember that one evening, when I was sitting in front of my computer. I lived in Zurich, was about 28 years old and I was doing my studies as a small children educator. That evening I was bored and lonely. Therefore, playing around with Google, I wrote:...read more
Where we live, wintertime is the time of the year when outside it is cold and dark. It is the time of the year when we are supposed to get lot of snow here in Switzerland. But the reality is, that in the plain where we live, we seldom have the privilege to have...read more
Have your kids ever asked why they should do certain things a certain way? Have you ever found yourself answering them, that this is just the way everyone does it? Or did you ever meet a big amount of rules – at your church, workplace or in your own childhood – asking...read more
Last week we have been looking at two roles that children are easily adopting in any family. The roles themselves aren’t bad, they are simply part of a family dynamic. However, the more we as parents understand what’s happening, the more we can reach out to our...read more
Like every year, spending Christmas celebrations with our families has been an interesting experience. On one hand, I love it. I enjoy having the privilege to celebrate with my siblings and parents, to celebrate with my in laws. However, it is challenging too. Simply...read more
I think my year was amazing. I feel absolutely blessed and amazed looking back to it! Thinking about what makes me feel that way I realize that it has nothing to do with a “pretended perfect live” we have. . I had people in my life that rejected me, not liking who I...read more
As we have seen in the two previous articles, God does not long for people to serve him like slaves. He does not demand of us to live at the mercy of him and others around us. He showed us by example that he himself never did that. That he defined “surrender” and “to...read more
Today I would like to look at how we can live a life of devotion and shed that victim mentality of living at the mercy of others. As we have seen in this Article from last week, there is a huge difference between real devotion and this presumed devotion that has much...read more
Did you know there is a huge difference between handing yourself over and living a life of devotion? Most of the time, this difference is not visible from the outside. Plenty of Christian songs talk about the topic. “I give myself to you” – “I surrender” – “I am...read more
Today’s article is slightly different. It is not in direct relation with family …. However, it has everything to do with family, education, mariage and personal growth. Simply because a peaceful, happy and healthy family has less to do with what we do – then of whom...read more
Those who regularly read my articles know that it is really important for me to invest my heart and life into my children and my husband. I want to be close to them and share my life and heart with them. However, I keep reminding myself that this is a daily decision....read more
This morning I was eating breakfast together with my children, drinking my coffee. With a sudden movement to help one of the children with his cereals, I spoiled my whole coffee over the table, chair and floor. My first, spontaneous reaction was “oh no!”… But then, I...read more
The past two weeks I have been on a campground with my children. We were in a tent, enjoying the warmth of a beautiful autumn. Since the campground was one of only a few which were open during this fall season, my sister was there with her family during almost the...read more
In the last Article we saw the first three ways of attaching. We talked about Physical proximity, Sameness and Belonging & Loyalty. Here we go for the ways of attaching through Significance, feeling and being known: Significance “This way of pursuing closeness...read more
As announced in the last article, here we go for the different ways of attachment. Working on it I realized again how ample the content of this topic is, so I decided to divide them into two parts. Today, we will look at the first three ways. It is important to...read more
Today is our 8th Anniversary! I love to be married. And I love to be married to this amazing person that is Benny. And I love the security and peace I feel concerning our union and family. I was pondering on why we feel that way, and I figured out the following: We...read more
Considering that family is the foundation of our society I think it’s crazy that there is so little support and help, so little valuable teaching found on how to create a healthy family. If you are like me, there are very few areas where you can simply imitate your...read more
As we have seen in the last Article, Emotions in itself are not bad. What our reactions to them is makes all the difference. It is so vital, that we recognize them and name them so we can do something about what is happening inside of us. In this article I provide a...read more
Are you an emotional person? Five points how you can handle your many emotions and help your child to do the same.
Emotions are a good and vital part of our lives. Some people live a pretty emotional life - others are less emotional. The approach to these emotions varies according to culture, upbringing, personality. Living in South America, I loved the "sangre latina" (Latin...read more
I was doing some research about the upbringing of John Edwards. What I found here, was this: Both parents were known intellectuals and that shaped him from his early childhood days. His father was well respected as both a teacher and preacher. His mother was well...read more
written on July 1, 2017 by Larry Ballard Taken with permission from YWAM family ministry, These contrasting legacies provide an example of what some call the five-generation rule. “How a parent raises their child — the love they give, the values they teach, the...read more
Recently my husband and I decided, to enroll in a Bible school for the next three years. My mother in law and my sister agreed to look after the four kids in the evenings and sometimes during days when we would be away. It felt right, and it was the perfect...read more
Family is a beautiful design. All it takes is getting pregnant and putting babies into this world. Or is it? Wherever you read this blog from, you have your unique story about your family of origin. You have your unique background, unique experiences. They may be...read more
Have you ever felt that you are not lovable, acceptable for who you truly are? The feeling of shame is a powerful emotion, and very often hidden deep inside, while you don’t even realize that this painful feeling of life is called “shame”. Shame is this powerful...read more
The past three weeks I spend some vacation time with my four kids, my sister and her kids in France on a campground. She rented a little cottage; I stayed in a tent right beside her place. We enjoyed the beach, the pool, the heat, the sand… and each other. We truly...read more
Sometimes, per social media I receive some tagged image from friends of mine that are mothers too. These images have text on it, and it says something like: “There is no superhero mom, there are real moms who try to give their best, and sometimes fail”. These texts...read more
The big difference between character and personality and why many times, the excuse “I’m just like that” doesn’t work.
Having four children being so amazingly different from each other reminds me all over again that we are all made with different personalities. That even coming from the same family, having the same parents, education and background, siblings can be so different,...read more
Some thoughts to consider before implementing advices from so-called experts into your family In this article I will highlight a few points, what matters to me with every book I read. With those points you can then decide for yourself, which books you want to apply on...read more
I’ve heard many times parents with adult children telling me: You will see, when you’re children are adult, they will tell you what you all made wrong. You will have rebel teenagers too, that’s just the way it is. I agree that my children will surely (hopefully) tell...read more
In order to help our children to enter their blueprint, it is important to understand what it is all about. In this Metaphor, there is . an Architect A Contractor The Bulilding supplier A little castle and the Blueprint God is the creator of the Child. So in this...read more