Different beliefs about Destiny – and how they will impact our family
From Identity to destiny
– this is our slogan from familythatmatters.
This is our vision statement.
A vision statement is a way to explain in one sentence who we are, why we exist, what is distinctive about us and what we do want to accomplish.
All the articles I write are an element of this vision statement.
Simply because I believe, by practically experiencing it in my own life, that this is a statement that resumes the process God wants to go with everyone of us.
The process God wants to go through with you and me – in order that we can lead our children into it.
One of the main issues of destiny – is what we believe about destiny. Do we believe that we have a destiny? What is our aim for our children?
Dr. Ruby Payne, in her book called “A Framework for understanding Poverty”, she explains that there are different worldviews, which influence our mindset, worldviews and life experiences. She illustrates in a chart you will find here, the different worldviews and mindsets, divided into three socioeconomic classes:
- Poverty class,
- Middle Class and
- Wealth class.
Today I would like to look at some of these subjects which differentiates a lot from class to class.
Destiny:
- Poverty: Believes in fate. Powerless to change much.
- Middle Class: Believes in choice. Power to change the future with a good decision.
- Wealth: Noblesse oblige – They don’t fight for a destiny, their life already is one. They are aware of their moral obligation and powerful social position. It is something inherited, to act with honor, kindness, generosity etc. (1)
When I found this chart a few years ago, I was stunned to realize that I carried a mindset of poverty inside of me.
Now – I am from Switzerland.
Our country is one of the wealthiest worldwide. But because everything is very expensive, having a “lot of money” is relative and doesn’t mean you are rich. My family was not an exception, and our family of seven had food and shelter, but money was still missing everywhere. Food was limited, leisure had to be free so that we could join and my mom bought all our clothes in a second hand shop.
But still, compared to families in poverty, the way I met them personally in South America, we were still rich.
How then, could I live with a poverty mindset?
Well… because money doesn’t necessarily equal wealth.
The idea that money makes someone wealthy is like suggesting that holding a baby makes someone a mom.
And we know that this is not true. It is a mindset.
Now … What is a mindset?
Caroline Leaf explains in her book “Think, Learn, Succeed”, (chapter 1) that:
“A mindset is an attitude, or a cluster of thoughts with attached information and emotions that generate a particular perception. They shape how you see and interact with the world. They can catapult you forward, allowing you to achieve your dreams, or put you in reverse drive if you are not careful.“
What does that mean for us, concerning destiny?
In this article I would like to show you how we can have a poverty mindset, no matter the amount of money we actually have.
In the next article I will go into ways how we can, again, independently of our financial resources, change our way of relating to life and continue our journey to walk in our true identity, to enter into our destiny and to lead our children into it as well.
Some of the primary effects of a poverty mentality is:
- Powerlessness and survival
This, simply because people with a poverty mindset are living for survival.
This is true about poverty referring to a lack of money. Without money, no hospital will be available, bills can’t be paid and education for your children is very limited.
However, for those of us who do have those financial resources, this feeling of powerlessness can still be a huge part of our live. Simply, because the same goes for all other resources. What is our mindset of life in general? How much of emotional resources do we have? What about our social resources? What belief do we have about God and destiny?
A person with a poverty mindset will live his or her life by fate.
“…if God wants to help me..”
“…maybe he will change my situation sometimes..”,
“….I beg God to intervene, I hope he will one day..”
“….If this is his will, he’ll do it..” (independent of my own actions or attitude)
is the typical way of expression of such a person.
Many times, Christians with such a mindset call their belief in fate “God’s will” and a life of limitation and powerlessness is called “humility” and “perseverance”.
Such a person has a worldview (and creates a worldview around him or her) of how to survive and not how to thrive.
2 Negative Selftalk
Another aspect that people living in poverty have in common, is negative self talk.
Again, here I’m not simply talking about money. I am talking about a mindset.
During my childhood, my father expressed himself that way:
“Well you know, I am only a worm, saved by the grace of God. This is who I am. “
Another way of self talk will result in sentences like:
“I can’t do that”
“I don’t know how I will get through the day”
“I am useless (stupid, immature, ridiculous)”
“Why can’t I be like..”
And many more.
Many of these statements actually sound quite humble, but they often come out of a lack of the beautiful identity as “kings and priests”, which God promises to us in Revelation 1:3.
3. The kind of adviser one has
People living in a mindset of poverty will be surrounded with friends of the same mindset.
These friends are his or her adviser when life is not fair, when the person is down or needs an advice for any decision. Such a person will not be able to see the difference between people who could truly help him or her in that situation and people who simply struggle with the same issues.
Together, they talk negatively about anyone who has a different worldview, most of all about the ones walking in a wealthy mindset.
4. The kind of resources we have
People with a poverty mindset will have limited resources.
There are even people who actually have plenty of money, who fit into that class with their mindset.
Simply, because money is one of the many resources, which create a mindset.
Other resources which will determine your life are: (chart found in the above mentioned book ” Framework for understanding Poverty”, chapter one, page 22, 4th edition)
- Emotional resources (the kind of self talk, capacity to deal with emotion)
- Mental resources (The capacity to use your mind and intelligence)
- Spiritual resources (A solid, love-based faith in God is a powerful resource)
- Physical resources (health and well-being)
- Knowledge of hidden rules (referring to this chart)
- The kind of Role models you have (who are the person to give advices and take example)
I love this chart. Simply because this chart shows us a way to go – a way to grow into our true identity, to enter into our destiny.
Simply said, whatever our worldview is, it is the way we see God, it is the way we see ourselves and therefore others. If we see ourselves as paupers, if we live a life of survival, we unavoidably have a theology of seeing God as powerful and almighty, but not in our lives. Not in a practical way here on earth. We live a natural life, finding ourselves trapped in natural problems with no hope of heavenly intervention. We find ourselves blaming God as the one who has the power to intervene, choosing to do nothing about our situation.
And I know what I am talking about since I have been there and felt that way.
Being introduced to these charts, along with the process God led me through in my life, has helped me tremendously in the transformation of my mindset. The understanding that the way I view life, my reality is not necessarily God’s truth in my life.
This chart helped me to understand that indeed, there are things I can’t change immediately.
One of these things difficult to change is the amount of money I have.
Plus, considering the subject of mindset, a lot of the money that could enter my life, through lottery, heritage or other external sources, would not change my mind set.
Simply, because – well, wealth is not simply about money.
However, this chart shows us that money is not all it takes, to transform a worldview, a mindset of poverty into something else, something that will enable us to enter into our identity and therefore destiny.
Maybe you can’t relate to that mindset of poverty. Maybe you believe that destiny is rather a choice. You believe that you have the power to change the future with good decisions.
If this is you, then hold on for the next article.
There, I will deepen this same mindset about destiny for you.
You see, whatever is your story, the environment you grew up in, the role models of your childhood, the experiences you went through – there is a mindset. And like I cited Caroline Leaf above:
“A mindset is an attitude, or a cluster of thoughts with attached information and emotions that generate a particular perception. They shape how you see and interact with the world. They can catapult you forward, allowing you to achieve your dreams, or put you in reverse drive if you are not careful.“
My aim is to introduce you to a beautiful reality – the reality that God’s mindset is much greater, more wonderful and life-transforming than the one most of us are living with.
My aim is to share with you what I’ve learned and what has given me insight and motivation to grow, to adapt my mindset to something greater – to the truth of God about Himself, me and others.
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